Welcome to the final part of this unintentional trilogy, in which I will, hopefully, tie up some loose ends.
After the first two parts, I got various comments and questions about whether I might be putting too much weight on the romantic relationship. The answer is probably yes; and the reason is probably because I’m writing from a certain context, which I’ll mention briefly at the end. Suffice it to say, I don’t think that a romantic relationship is the be-all and end-all of human life, by any means; there’s only one relationship that is, and it’s the one that will (or at least, ought to) count the most in every aspect of life—the relationship with Jesus Christ.
Moreover, there are other relationships that are very important to life, and in which God can be—and is—revealed: good relationships where one is loved and supported, counseled and guided, taught and prepared, made to know that he or she is safe within a community. And these can come in various forms. To name a few: friendships, family, church, and work. (There are more, I’m sure; but I can’t think of any more right now.)
And so, to my context. Obviously, everyone writes from a certain perspective, and I’m writing from mine. Even when I try to write a generally-applicable blog, it comes out in the way that I write, the things that I mention, etc. Contrary to the impression that some may have gotten from the first two parts of this blog, I’m actually really happy being single. I’m in a great community of friends (students and profs) here at Fuller, part of a church I love, close to and able to see family when available, well-cared for and well-loved. On the other hand, I’m a couple months clear of the skein of an almost-relationship that began with all of the promise of the Mariners’ “AL West championship run season” and imploded with just as much unexpected bewilderment; and I think this frustration comes out a little when I write. Still, I’m out of it, able to see the good that God did through those difficult few months, and back to being happy (finally!).
In conclusion, my intention in beginning this series (which actually didn’t begin as a series but developed through dialog) was not to extol the romantic relationship—our culture does that enough for us—but merely to touch upon one aspect of life that I continue to hold in tension, and something that I don’t think the church in general addresses well enough or often enough. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and opinions, helping me hammer out some thoughts on a difficult topic. Feel free to continue inputting; I’d say that there’s a 99% chance that I’ll write about relationships again. 🙂
Hola Justin,
I’m just reading your three-part mini-series now.
I agree with you completely – that we are created to be in relationship with one another and that the desire to be with a “soul mate” in marriage is ordained by God. It’s just a part of how He created us!
Waiting for that soul mate is a whole other thing. We can find the perfect person, the one we think we’re going to marry…and the timing can be completely off. Timing isn’t everything… but it’s a HUGE chunk of it! My point is, it’s not just about the right person, but it’s gotta be the right time.
In the meantime, I’m sure your prayers, your times of solitude, your thoughts…and your blogspace will continue to be filled with trying to be satisfied in God (which for me, was a daily prayer as a single person), and wondering when you’ll find that person (or maybe IF you’ll find that person for that matter!). My encouragement to you is that I know that in your waiting, in your praying, in your seeking, that whomever God leads you to, will be well worth the wait. You can have true hope in that! =)